MAOAM

Okay, so now I'm feeling on a roll with the whole writing thing. I've realised I've not done a post on my best friend! As mentioned in my last post, Annie box is my bestie and has been for around 8 years now. Long time huh? Is started in year 7, I think I met her on the day of my birthday. Back in the day! And since then we clicked straight away, and we've been inseparable ever since. We went to different colleges, and now we're at different universities and she's still my best friend, which is quite special I think. I'm so lucky to have a friendship like that! It's so good infact, and she told me the other day her flatmates were saying they wanted a friendship like ours, that's pretty cool if you ask me. We also get asked quite a lot "why don't you send each other x's on texts?" .. mainly because we talk too much and we dont need too cause we both know we love each other! Awwww.

We've both had quite a few groups of friends together, yet when they seemed to go off and do their own thing, me and Annie still stuck together. Of course we've got our immense other two now, but Annie will always remain number one, sorry guys! We've had so many memories together that I struggle to remember the majority of them. Good job I've got quite a few in my leavers book! School feels like so long ago! We had a lot of times where me and Annie seemed to fall over, a lot. I won't go into school memories because this would turn into an incredibly long post!

We've had our various good and bad relationships growing up together. I only have to say newbold, green and blue jeans for her to understand what I'm on about. We've had incredibly hard times, and we've both supported each other through them. I know that I can always turn to her about anything, which makes things easier. We've both got the same sense of humour which helps, we're both rather sarcastic. When I say rather, I mean incredibly. This skill of ours comes in useful when we're trying to win the guys in "banter wars"' or it can make awkward situations become hilarious. We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking, a skill which only happens when you know each other inside out. Nobody knows me like annie does, and I think its the same the other way round. I know I can rely on her without her letting me down. Also we tell each other everything and anything. I feel incredibly lucky to have a friend like her. Let the good times continue!

Truth be told, I don't have enough words or time to talk about us. I'd be here for days if I wrote everything down, and that would be quite a waste of time! So box, just know you'll always be my bestie now, sorry about that. You're my twin, as we've been told numerous times, but I think that's a pretty good compliment. Also this is your birthday present so you'd best appreciate it. I'm joking, I'll get you a present really! P.s. MAOAMMM.. mm mm.

My three.

I realised this morning that I've not done a post in a while, mainly because I've not had any issues which require a serious ranting, so this will be a bit random instead, mainly about what I've done with my three.

I've had a pretty busy few weeks, but I think I needed it. I'm starting to become so much more like myself again, I actually feel happy for the majority of the time, yay! One of my recent events involved a trip to Alton towers with my three best friends, and that was an experience in itself. The journey there was a nightmare, it was almost as if Alton towers was saying "go home, we don't want you to come". Kieren made the statement "if we get through the boundaries and make it to Alton towers we will have an amazing day", and he was right... luckily! After seeing many car crashes, going through incredibly heavy rain and being defeated by the sat nav, we made it and it was an amazing day. Oblivion, sonic spinball, 13 and Rita are immense, just saying. So good in fact that we're going again on Friday the 13th (which I am rather worried about, I don't want my way to go to be on a ride). One of the funniest things was a quote we found on google, when I asked it the question "why does sonic spinball only have 3 people at a time when raining?" .. The answer was "because when it rains, sonic gets angry and throws people off the ride" hahahaha.

I've basically seen my favourite three just about everyday, and it's made me love them even more. Our new thing is playing pool, me and Annie are seriously improving. We were so determined to beat the guys we actually went and secretly practised playing pool at Riley's (shhh). We were so bad that we had to google how to hold a pool stick! Yet, the practise payed off as we beat Kieren (twice might I add) at pool, yay for us! Even though we might have won, it doesn't stop the banter, which is just about none stop I should add. Luckily we don't take it seriously, otherwise we'd probably hate each other by now!

The four of us also have many events planned, mainly being competitive ones. For instance, next week we're having a day playing mario kart, whilst drinking I might add. It's going to end up being messy. We are all so determined to win that we're all practising at our own homes the day before. You might think that's sad but I call it serious dedication. Me and Annie need to win Tom and Kieren, at something. Anything even. Desperate times cause for desperate measures. When we aren't desperately trying to win each other, we do enjoy normal things for teenagers. We've got a few things planned, such as Sheffield for annies birthday on the 9th, which should be immense, and again messy I should probably add. Truth be told, I love the three of them. We always have an immense time, never argue either. We may all be quite different, but I think that's why it works (apart from Annie who is my twin, seriously). I never get bored of their company, because we always end up in fits of laughter. I feel like we've definitely got closer recently, but we've always been quite close. I definitely think I needed those guys in order to get me through quite a rough time, and they've been incredible. Even if I do get a lot of stick, it's all part of the banter! Let the good times continue :)

The future.

The future interests me. I don't know what's to become of me until I get there. Is life planned out for us, or is it spontaneous? I guess we'll never know. I seem to have quite a laid back approach to life, whatever happens.. well happens. I always wanted to go to university but I didn't know if I would, I thought I'd just see when I got to the right age. The thought of going motivated me to do well in my a levels. I didn't and still don't have a career planned, the only reason I took English at university was because I'm good at it. I aim to just see what happens after university. Some people might think I'm crazy, but it works for me. I don't need to have life planned out, because I believe that it's spontaneous.

I also think marriage is a spontaneous idea. If you find someone to marry, then brilliant. Someone might never find the right person, because they might be on the opposite side if the world, meaning they may never meet. I for one would love to get married someday, but only to the right person. If I don't meet them, I don't get married. Your friends are also spontaneous. They could have gone to any school, or been living in any other place in the world. But I met them when I did and we became friends. I've spontaneously met many people who I now need in my life, that's a pretty special thing. The good thing about life being spontaneous is we don't know what's going to happen. It makes us work hard, it makes us aim higher and believe in a bright future.

Stereotypes.

I'm not one for believing that everyone fits into a certain stereotype, you are your own person, why do we have to be categorised? High school is the place where the idea of stereotypes really kicks in. For instance, the popular kids. I'm sorry but, who decided to make those people kings and queens of the world? They are no different from me and you. I'm not one to judge, but to be honest they always really intimidated me. I never really spoke to the popular kids, because they always seem to speak down to everyone else. Being a member of their crowd didn't really appeal to me, I'd much rather get on with everyone else who is level headed and real, no matter what the stereotype is.

The next stereotype I can think of would be the gothic/emo kids. I for one had no problem with these people, they seemed down to earth and real, they just expressed theirselves in the way they dressed and looked, they deliberately made a statement. What is the problem in that? There's no harm in expressing yourself appearance wise, some people frown upon it (especially the popular kids) but at the end of the day, they are who they are. Get to know the person not the stereotype!

I seemed to fit into the "normal" people at school, I cannot think of a single stereotype for my crowd. There was a nice mix of us, being both boys and girls. We had fun, went to house parties and just enjoyed ourselves. We didn't think we were gods gift, we talked to everyone no matter what stereotype. People weren't intimidated by us, isn't that the way high school should be? People shouldn't get bullied by what they like!

At school, I was a free spirit. I hadn't really found myself. I didn't know what type of clothes to wear, or how to do my hair and makeup. The majority of the girls looked the same in order to be accepted, which was a side parting with a large fringe covering one eye. I eventually got past this phase. I've only started finding myself whilst being at university. Nobody cares what you look like, it's great! Simply because we've all been thrown into the same boat together, the huge step of leaving home. I've started finding things out about myself which I never knew before. I like my hair to be big and messy. Wearing polo shirts are my guilty pleasure. I love converse and vans. I like wearing bright red and pink lipstick. I love listening to all kinds of music, but mainly indie, alternative, rave and rock. What kind of stereotype is that? Truth be told, I don't care. I've finally been accepted in a none judgemental world for who I am, and I'm loving life :)

Elle magazine competition

Every woman should have a little black dress within their forever expanding wardrobe. It's a key essential, a piece of timeless fashion which never seems to go out of style. It makes you feel confident, womanly and sexy. It completely flatters your body shape adding curves in all the right places. It magically makes you look slim, even though you've secretly just ate a huge portion of chocolate cake. The little black dress is almost like a security blanket, hidden away in your wardrobe for when you need it most. It aims and succeeds to always make you feel gorgeous, even on your bad days when nothing seems to be going right, the dress will rescue you.

My first and only little black dress was purchased for a party in my early teenage years, during my "gothic" phase. Looking back on the photos soon after the party, the dress looked like a complete fashion disaster. I remember thinking "I'll never get a boyfriend!" I'd styled it all wrong, wearing bright purple tights and topping it off with bright purple accessorises. To put it bluntly, I looked like a plum which had gone off. The dress returned to the wardrobe, and was thrown somewhere to the back in embarrassment and despair. I couldn't face wearing the dress again, it had  made me look like gone off fruit.

The dress remained unloved for the majority of my teens, before finally making its way out of my wardrobe when I moved to university. During this time, I'd turned into a woman, suddenly producing a curvaceous and voluptuous figure. I had also found some fashion sense, mainly from magazines and the wisdom of my mother. I found the dress lurking in my wardrobe and tried it on, forgetting all about the "off fruit" incident from before. Hang on a minute, the dress made me look good. It flattered my curves and made me look slimmer. "It's some kind of miracle" I thought, and since that moment the dress and myself have never parted. It is a firm staple piece of my wardrobe, and will remain that way for as long as I can fit into it. 

The Gym.

Today I've decided to join a gym at home, pure motivation in order to achieve a better looking body in order for America, and also for when university starts again in September. In general, I'm quite confident in myself but this tends to lack appearance wise, mainly because of pressure from the media. These days there seems to be a perfect body type; women are supposed to be skinny, with perfect legs and a flat stomach, not a bit of flab in sight. Men on the other hand are supposed to be incredibly toned, with huge muscles and a toned six pack. For me, both of these stereotypes are just bizarre. What woman wants to be stick thin with no curves? Some people may find it strange for me not to find men with muscles attractive, but it's true. I'd just prefer to have a man that's normal and with a bit of chub. If the guy is full of muscles, he'll be spending his life in the gym, and what sort of life is that? A pretty boring one if you ask me.

So yes, I am going to start going to the gym. Yet this is purely to improve my fitness and try to tone up the chub, mainly in areas where I'm least confident, such as my arms. I will never go as far as being anorexic. For one, I'm a lover of food. We only live once, so why spoil one of life's pleasures in order to achieve the media's desire? I for one do feel pressure from the media, such as the bmi scale, a factor which takes into consideration your height and weight in order to determine if you are underweight to obese. In my eyes, what a load of rubbish. This doesn't take into account your bone structure, or for women what bra size you are etc, common factors which will affect your "bmi". The media portrays the idea that skinny is good. When I've spoken to male friends and asked what their views are, every response has been that they prefer a curvy girl, or in other words a girl where they have love handles to grab onto. Holly willoughby for instance is a great example. She embraces her womanly curves, yet she is fit and toned. She's basically the woman that most men dream for, and to me that's great because it's actually realistic and achievable, and she looks like a woman should do.

Everyone has secret doubts about their body, me included. I for one hate my arms and my legs, and that's a fact. Many friends of mine hate various other parts of their bodies, but I think that they look fine, healthy and normal even. It just goes to show that body confidence is all in the mind. Some people take it more serious that others. I know that I won't be giving up roast dinner and chocolate anytime soon. I also know that I'll never been 100% happy with my body, it's just something I need to learn to accept and deal with. On that note, it's time to eat a rather large sandwich and then hit the gym.

..oh yeah, and after today I'm technically no longer a fresher :( even more sad times! r.i.p freshers xxx

Here it is;
Moving out day, sad times! Sat in my room writing this blog post for the last time. Looking around now my room looks completely empty, and somehow it almost seems smaller. It's strange to think that there have been so many memories in this room. Many tears, laughs, hugs, tv moments, getting ready for a night out, love, fun etc. 


I remember the day after moving in here, and waking up in this room thinking "wow, I'm actually at university", which still hasn't really sunk in! I also remember waking up and thinking "where the hell am I?" Of course, my flat mates are what have made my time at halls special. 


When moving in, I was incredibly worried I wouldn't get on with anyone, or people wouldn't like me. I was wondering if I would be stuck in my room for the next year, not having anyone to talk too. But it turns out I was completely wrong. We've all been incredibly lucky, we all get on well, there hasn't been a single argument. Now I know that i've made friends for life, something which seems incredibly special for me. 


Even though this chapter of my life ends today, I take forward all the memories and the good times which have happened within this flat. It's been an experience and a half, and even though I will miss halls more than anything, I'm ready to give up my room to the next person who'll be moving in shortly. Living in a house will seem much more personal, and it's a new chapter in life which I get to experience.


So here's to court 14, apartment 14. The best year of my life, and it all happened within this building. I love halls, I love this flat and I love my room, especially my shower and bed! 

4th June 2012;
Had a bit of a strange but good day today! The day started off being a bit depressing, as the majority of my photographs came down. My room doesn't even look like mine anymore, apart from a few possessions and posters. It looks more like a box. I remember on moving in day, as I first walked into my new room, I thought "oh my god, what a prison cell!" but it became more homely as the time went on. It'll surely take a lot longer to move out than it did to move in! Certainly not looking forward to packing up my belongings and sorting out the kitchen on Friday/Saturday. It's got to happen at some point though I guess.


Then, some other stuff started hitting me. For some reason, I woke up feeling quite alone today. But it's getting easier, because I know that i've got my friends. I know i'll always have people around me that I love. Yeah, i'll be on my own sometime, but I'm happy, and each day is getting easier step by step. I realised today that I don't need a man at the moment to be happy, i'd rather just fool around with a few and have a good time before settling down again, with someone who I trust 100%, and I'm properly happy with this time, not just an irrational decision like last time. I'm not going to get with anyone until I know they are the best thing for me, which is where i've been going wrong before. I think I mainly get with people out of pity. Yeah, I do normally fall for the person after a certain amount of time, but it's not someone who i've fallen in love with head over heels and 100%. I've loved people, but I don't think that i've been in love properly? Since i've always managed to get over people and stuff! All will come when the right person comes along :) So yeah, I'm happy and I'm alive... luckily,(the reason isn't even worth mentioning) that's all that matters at the minute!


The process of moving out is also hitting me more and more each day, because it's getting closer. The week is going very quick, but at least I'm spending it with two of my favourite people! We've already planned out the majority of our week :)but at the same time it's really sad! I've already started planning things out with my friends so things are looking good for the summer holidays! Looking forward to getting smashed at corp with my best friend on Monday, and seeing some of my favourite guys! ;)


I've also had a strange day in the sense of reading some things which I shouldn't have, from one of my best friends. It's made me feel rather bad, I had no idea of the extent of what he was going through, but he knows I love him to pieces and everything will be fine between us :) A bit of a roller coaster day it seems! But time to retire and watch tv and drink a cuppa with the remaining flat mates, in our amazing and shitting flat :P 

The thought of moving out..

The thought of moving out;
...is so so depressing! It hasn't really hit me until some of my flat mates started to move out. Seeing their empty rooms, which were full of possessions and memories, really starts to hit you. This is it. We're never going to be living in this flat or together again. Halls of residence is a one time experience, and it's all happened so quickly. I'd give anything to go back and do it again!

Well, i've got less than a week to go. The kitchen looks almost empty, and loads of stuff from my room went home today. It's slowly starting to sink in. The thought of never sitting in this flat again, waking up after a night out and stumbling into the kitchen just feels horrid. Also the thought of pre-drinks, it won't be the same next year surely? We won't have much space, and we won't all be together! There are so many memories in these walls, and although it's been an incredible time, it's such a sad feeling knowing that 6 new students will be coming and taking our place soon next year. Also, I won't be living with everyone again next year, which is an even sadder thought. It almost feels surreal, I keep welling up and have to stop myself from crying, and I never cry! I guess we really made this place feel like home, and I will miss every inch of our wonderful, and slightly shitty court 14, apartment 14 flat.