I've realised that I haven't wrote a blog post in weeks now. University has taken over my life. I'm two weeks in, and I'm already finding it difficult. The university has high expectations, which I understand, but they think I'm a super human, which I am not. I cannot read four ginormous books a week, it's impossible. The plot lines are hard to understand, and the language is unbearable. For the text to mean something, I would have to read the book three times over, which I do not do because I actually have a life. Aside from the reading, I also have to research, so I can understand what the hell they are talking about. The books somehow fit into each of the modules, which can be difficult to figure out. To be honest with you, I feel really dumb. I don't feel clever enough to be at university. Half the time I don't really know why I'm here. I took the module "creative writing" to improve my writing skills, and release my creative side. I feel like that was a mistake, because I'm not good enough at it. I just want to sit in the corner and not say anything, because whatever I write is not a good enough standard. Reading back, this is a massively depressing blog post, but I question myself most days. Why am I here?
Aside from university, I'm happy. My cooking skills have improved this year. I've been getting more adventurous. I've managed to cook a BBQ chicken salad, Sunday dinner and egg fried rice. To you, that probably sounds pretty lame. Cooking meat used to make me feel nervous, but now it seems simple. Just call me chef Ramsey. I'm looking forward to going home next week, I think it's what I need. I need to clear my head. A cuddle from my cat will make me happier. Also, I'm seeing the amazing Michael McIntyre on Thursday. I know I'll be crying with laughter. Hopefully university will pick up a bit, but I think it's going to get even harder. Not sure I'll cope!
You can do it! You could try making a schedule like "I'll read 100 pages of this book then take a break, then do 30mins research and have a break, then read 100 more pages" etc. How are your coursemates handling it? If any of them are doing particularly well you could see how they're managing to keep up with so much reading?
ReplyDeleteIt feels like we've been launched into everything this year. I'm just about keeping on top of things at the moment but I have a feeling that if I don't stay organised I'll get dragged under pretty quickly. Just remember that you ARE good enough to be there - you got in, you passed the first year, and although university is supposed to be a big challenge, you can do it!
I'm glad everything else is going well though :) xxx
bleugh! thanks for that motivational speech katie :P needed it! people are finding it pretty tough, it's the reading that mainly gets us down xxx
ReplyDelete